cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
