I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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