Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize