Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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