There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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