i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
