Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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