I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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