I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize