I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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