I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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