he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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