5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
