I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
