Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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