So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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