why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
