I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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