the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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