Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
