gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
