kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
When are your genitals available?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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