i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
