Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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