Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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