got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
