I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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