You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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