i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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