Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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