What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Say something about gay babies.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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