Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
