u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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