Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
