Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
