Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
