Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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