what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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