Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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