I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Enjoy the penises
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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