I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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