I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
