I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Duck Duck Cougar?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
FUCK WHALES
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