i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
