Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
