TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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