after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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