So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize