It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
