I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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