either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
