He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
