i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
