mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
