first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
