Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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