Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
