I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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