The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
