i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
