I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
