She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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